I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo – Chapter 190

Ch 139

Chapter 139:

After almost an hour of wiping down the sword carefully enough not to break it, some strangely familiar patterns and appropriately placed multicolored jewels began to appear. Most of the jewels were dark, close to being black.

I knew why the patterns felt familiar. The pattern that was engraved into the handle of the sword was something that was often used by the royal family. One of the traits that black magic had was that it resembled a thin string, and, even if nobody had actually seen it, it’s been said that it takes the shape of a hurricane when it’s in use. The royal family modified the hurricane shape slightly to a decorative pattern, and then used that pattern in everything that they used.

I traced the royal patterns to where all of the hurricanes pet. At the base of the end of the pattern, one person’s name was written in fancy handwriting.

“Lesleyan Orde Ianess…..”

It was a familiar name. I was a bit surprised as I murmured the name out loud.

I knew that name well from my history class.

Lesleyan Orde Ianess was the first emperor of our empire. Lesleyan was known as the first emperor, but he was also known as the tragic emperor.

The death of a dragon marked the beginning of the Orde Empire’s founding.

Lesleyan, who was the strongest swordsman of them all, learned that he would become even more powerful after gaining a dragon’s heart. Hearing this, he challenged a dragon, something incredibly close to a god.

His mission had been successful–and with the dragon’s heart, he had become imbued with an incredible amount of magic and had founded the empire, but his end was tragic. Right before the dragon had died, it had cursed him to lose all of his family, relatives, and even close friends.

Hestia was the one that really knew the founding myth and the details behind it. Hestia knew the entire history of the empire down pat, so she would be able to provide more information about it.

Anyway, the most important fact at the moment was that the sword that I now had was one that belonged to the famous emperor Lesleyan. If the Orde Empire’s founding myth was true, then did that mean that he killed the black dragon with this sword?

I read through the strange energy that remained in the sword as my heart raced. The incomplete shards of black magic that remained in my body seemed to react to the magic in the sword. The magic in the sword seemed to be screaming at me to absorb it into myself. I unknowingly licked my lips.

“I feel like I could absorb it…..”

This magic wasn’t laid out in order or in a pattern. That meant that there wasn’t any black magic spell cast on the sword. It was just imbued with pure black magic. Moreover, the magic within the sword seemed pure, unused, and strong.

If the black magic within me was the equivalent of an expired sandwich from a convenience store, then the magic within the sword was akin to the royal desserts that Hylli shared from time to time.

I closed my hand and held my hand above the sword.

As soon as my hand touched the sword and I tried to touch the magic within it, the magic in the sword shifted, as if it had been waiting for me, and absorbed into my body.

Clean, powerful magic swirled in my body as it entered. It itched, but it was enough to bear.

“…….holy shit.”

The unnerving black magic within my body had been completely purified.

The amount of magic within me didn’t change too much. However, the quality of my magic, which had been lowered because of the mixed fragments within it, had gotten higher. That meant that I was able to use both normal magic and black magic now.

If I wanted, now, I could use my own powers to use black magic and normal magic, and I could even use the two together.

When you had a higher quality of magic, it was possible to create magic stones. Even though I couldn’t just pump out large quantities of high quality, pure magic stones like Cory or Swanhaden, I could make magic stones with my own magic. That was an incredible improvement.

I concentrated all of the magic in my body towards my hand. It required a considerable amount of concentration, so I slowed my breath and relaxed my entire body.

When I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could feel something strange forming on my once-empty hand. The item grew bigger and bigger, and when it reached a certain point, it didn’t grow any bigger.

When I opened my hand, I checked the strange object in it. This was something that I had never thought I would be able to do, so my heart pounded with excitement.

In my hand was a fingernail-sized magic stone.

The entirety of the magic stone was crimson, but there was a small black swirl, or maybe even a flower, swirled within it. It must’ve been because the quality of my magic had increased, but it shone like a jewel.

I wanted to commemorate the first ever stone that I had created, so I decided to save it more than use it. I wondered if I should make a necklace or a piercing with it as I placed my stone in my pocket.

“……..I don’t know a lot of black magic spells though.”

Black magic was a forgotten type of magic, so there was a limited amount of books. The two types of black magic that I had seen were curse spells and dimension spells. That was it.

I could draw out the curse spell’s circle, but I didn’t have enough magic to even attempt it. I would need to collect a lot of stones before I even tried. It was impossible for me to do right now. Moreover, I didn’t even know what I should curse.

And for dimension……

“Dimension, huh…….”

I knew a tiny bit of dimension magic, the highest tier of black magic. When I couldn’t fulfill the requirements of the spell and I had used only the black magic in my body to use a dimension spell, my body had been completely wrecked. That was a stupidly painful and not at all fun experience.

Now, this black magic was completely mine, and it was pure enough for me to possibly use dimension magic without any problems.

“Should I try it?”

I decided to just attempt it lightheartedly. Just trying it out wasn’t a crime, right? I had a strange, undetermined sense of guilt for trying out such a high-level spell without even trying any lower-level spells.

I closed my eyes and remembered the magic circle on the back of my hand. I drew out the pattern in the air.

This was something that I knew now, but the magic circle back then had been written with another dimension of the existing world in mind. If I drew out the circle exactly as it had been, then I had a feeling that I would land back in the world that I thought had been a dream. I modified the circle to the best of my ability.

“….will this even work?”

I chose the destination as a dimension that I wanted to see. It felt like I was peeking in at something that I shouldn’t see. My heart began to pound even harder.

From some unknown moment, I knew that the dreams that I had of my past life and the original novel wasn’t a coincidence.

They weren’t dreams that were created by my subconscious. They were dreams that I had dreamt because someone had consistently used magic on me to dream those things. Whenever I had dreams of my past life, I had always felt a faint energy from a magic circle. I used that to write out my circle.

I drew it, and when the energy around my circle felt wrong, then I erased it and started all over again. I drew and redrew the circle until I had the same feeling that I did whenever I dreamed of the past. When I had redrawn it countless times, I was finally able to find something that felt similar.

The reason why I had chosen my past as the dimension was because I had stopped having dreams about my past ever since that incident with Cory’s family. I began to miss my old connections. I just kind of missed them.

If I could see those familiar faces again with this trial, then I would be happy.

I tried to see that particular dimension’s situation using the current time, but tampered with the circle to see the past instead. I tried to write it in the times when I knew when and where I was. I didn’t want to see what had happened when I died, so I just turned the time back to before I died.

I breathed in and out as I completed the circle, then placed the circle near my wrist.

[Ye-an nuna!]

Unniiiiiii!]

As soon as I activated the circle, images of the children in the other dimension began to flow into my head. Amongst the children was the familiar yet unfamiliar face of my past self.

These were the people that I had missed after not dreaming of them for a long time. I choked on my breath without realizing it.

With my mouth still agape, I thought deeply about what had happened. I forgot to even move my body. My body should’ve started aching, but I stayed still as I breathed in and out.

I barely blinked. The inner corners of my eyes felt heavy, but tears refused to fall.

My eyes felt dry as I stared at nothing in the air. I wasn’t staring at anything in particular. All I could see was a dried-up plant.

The scene that I had seen last time just kept repeating in my head, again and again.

I went back to that scene, time and time again. I became entranced in the memories of my past.

After I had attempted to use black magic that one time, I couldn’t seem to escape the memories of my past.

Those who I missed, and had missed so dearly.

The memories of my past life weren’t things that I wanted to keep thinking about. They weren’t happy memories. Instead, they were the complete opposite.

I couldn’t even figure out my own future, but I had taken on the responsibility of taking care of my younger siblings’ future. I had gone through struggle after struggle.

I had washed dishes until my hands cracked, and I had forced my lips to smile on cold winter days as I greeted customers. At the same time, I had bit at my lips alone in the face of looming, increasing debt and hope that I couldn’t even begin to see.

The reason that I had chosen to struggle like that had been for my little siblings, and, on the other hand, the only reason I was able to live on and face each day was because of my little siblings.

Living was torture. I spent nights wide awake, scared of what the next day would bring. I had wanted to give up, live for myself, and do whatever I wanted for myself.

Whenever I walked the streets, I would see kids my age look free and happy. I felt like I was the only one wallowing in misery. I knew, I knew that I wasn’t the only one suffering, but it still hurt.

But those were all fleeting thoughts. I could never abandon my family.

Being family aside, all of them were just so lovable. There were times when I hated them, but they were always so lovable.

I used black magic to look back at my memories from that life again and again.

My youngest sibling picking out vegetables, then putting those vegetables in my mouth when they were caught. I always did stretching exercises with my youngest sibling, Semi, as we followed the teddy bears on our old television to grow taller.

My third youngest sibling, Yehwan, who tried to cook for me as they argued that they were grown, but failed. Oh, in the end, after multiple burned attempts, they had succeeded in cooking a delicious omurice. But they had been a bit too happy and had tripped on their feet as they tried to hand it to me.

And Seyoo. Seyoo had always been aggressive and liked to fight. People had always thought of him as a problem child because of it. But underneath it all, he was a jokester who was bright, smart, and sincere.

But he had gone a bit astray after our parents had died. No, to be exact, it had been since I had quit school and had begun working from midnight to late at night. He’d started fighting and always came home late. He’d gotten a lot colder.

The reason why I kept thinking of Hylli as a younger brother was because of Seyoo. Hylli had black hair, just like him, so it was easier for me to put the two together.

Of course, they didn’t look the same. Hylli, who was one of the main characters in the novel, was definitely a lot more handsome. Seyoo was more aggressive than him, too. But Hylli’s lame, cute points reminded me a lot of Seyoo before he grew cold, so I always saw the two of them as one. Both of them were selfish when it came to themselves and always wanted to improve themselves. They were both modest about their abilities, too.

Because I was always near Hylli, who reminded me of him so much, I couldn’t seem to separate myself from the past.

Now that it was possible for me to look into my past with black magic, I clung to it even tighter.

Chapter 139:

After almost an hour of wiping down the sword carefully enough not to break it, some strangely familiar patterns and appropriately placed multicolored jewels began to appear. Most of the jewels were dark, close to being black.

I knew why the patterns felt familiar. The pattern that was engraved into the handle of the sword was something that was often used by the royal family. One of the traits that black magic had was that it resembled a thin string, and, even if nobody had actually seen it, it’s been said that it takes the shape of a hurricane when it’s in use. The royal family modified the hurricane shape slightly to a decorative pattern, and then used that pattern in everything that they used.

I traced the royal patterns to where all of the hurricanes pet. At the base of the end of the pattern, one person’s name was written in fancy handwriting.

“Lesleyan Orde Ianess…..”

It was a familiar name. I was a bit surprised as I murmured the name out loud.

I knew that name well from my history class.

Lesleyan Orde Ianess was the first emperor of our empire. Lesleyan was known as the first emperor, but he was also known as the tragic emperor.

The death of a dragon marked the beginning of the Orde Empire’s founding.

Lesleyan, who was the strongest swordsman of them all, learned that he would become even more powerful after gaining a dragon’s heart. Hearing this, he challenged a dragon, something incredibly close to a god.

His mission had been successful–and with the dragon’s heart, he had become imbued with an incredible amount of magic and had founded the empire, but his end was tragic. Right before the dragon had died, it had cursed him to lose all of his family, relatives, and even close friends.

Hestia was the one that really knew the founding myth and the details behind it. Hestia knew the entire history of the empire down pat, so she would be able to provide more information about it.

Anyway, the most important fact at the moment was that the sword that I now had was one that belonged to the famous emperor Lesleyan. If the Orde Empire’s founding myth was true, then did that mean that he killed the black dragon with this sword?

I read through the strange energy that remained in the sword as my heart raced. The incomplete shards of black magic that remained in my body seemed to react to the magic in the sword. The magic in the sword seemed to be screaming at me to absorb it into myself. I unknowingly licked my lips.

“I feel like I could absorb it…..”

This magic wasn’t laid out in order or in a pattern. That meant that there wasn’t any black magic spell cast on the sword. It was just imbued with pure black magic. Moreover, the magic within the sword seemed pure, unused, and strong.

If the black magic within me was the equivalent of an expired sandwich from a convenience store, then the magic within the sword was akin to the royal desserts that Hylli shared from time to time.

I closed my hand and held my hand above the sword.

As soon as my hand touched the sword and I tried to touch the magic within it, the magic in the sword shifted, as if it had been waiting for me, and absorbed into my body.

Clean, powerful magic swirled in my body as it entered. It itched, but it was enough to bear.

“…….holy shit.”

The unnerving black magic within my body had been completely purified.

The amount of magic within me didn’t change too much. However, the quality of my magic, which had been lowered because of the mixed fragments within it, had gotten higher. That meant that I was able to use both normal magic and black magic now.

If I wanted, now, I could use my own powers to use black magic and normal magic, and I could even use the two together.

When you had a higher quality of magic, it was possible to create magic stones. Even though I couldn’t just pump out large quantities of high quality, pure magic stones like Cory or Swanhaden, I could make magic stones with my own magic. That was an incredible improvement.

I concentrated all of the magic in my body towards my hand. It required a considerable amount of concentration, so I slowed my breath and relaxed my entire body.

When I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could feel something strange forming on my once-empty hand. The item grew bigger and bigger, and when it reached a certain point, it didn’t grow any bigger.

When I opened my hand, I checked the strange object in it. This was something that I had never thought I would be able to do, so my heart pounded with excitement.

In my hand was a fingernail-sized magic stone.

The entirety of the magic stone was crimson, but there was a small black swirl, or maybe even a flower, swirled within it. It must’ve been because the quality of my magic had increased, but it shone like a jewel.

I wanted to commemorate the first ever stone that I had created, so I decided to save it more than use it. I wondered if I should make a necklace or a piercing with it as I placed my stone in my pocket.

“……..I don’t know a lot of black magic spells though.”

Black magic was a forgotten type of magic, so there was a limited amount of books. The two types of black magic that I had seen were curse spells and dimension spells. That was it.

I could draw out the curse spell’s circle, but I didn’t have enough magic to even attempt it. I would need to collect a lot of stones before I even tried. It was impossible for me to do right now. Moreover, I didn’t even know what I should curse.

And for dimension……

“Dimension, huh…….”

I knew a tiny bit of dimension magic, the highest tier of black magic. When I couldn’t fulfill the requirements of the spell and I had used only the black magic in my body to use a dimension spell, my body had been completely wrecked. That was a stupidly painful and not at all fun experience.

Now, this black magic was completely mine, and it was pure enough for me to possibly use dimension magic without any problems.

“Should I try it?”

I decided to just attempt it lightheartedly. Just trying it out wasn’t a crime, right? I had a strange, undetermined sense of guilt for trying out such a high-level spell without even trying any lower-level spells.

I closed my eyes and remembered the magic circle on the back of my hand. I drew out the pattern in the air.

This was something that I knew now, but the magic circle back then had been written with another dimension of the existing world in mind. If I drew out the circle exactly as it had been, then I had a feeling that I would land back in the world that I thought had been a dream. I modified the circle to the best of my ability.

“….will this even work?”

I chose the destination as a dimension that I wanted to see. It felt like I was peeking in at something that I shouldn’t see. My heart began to pound even harder.

From some unknown moment, I knew that the dreams that I had of my past life and the original novel wasn’t a coincidence.

They weren’t dreams that were created by my subconscious. They were dreams that I had dreamt because someone had consistently used magic on me to dream those things. Whenever I had dreams of my past life, I had always felt a faint energy from a magic circle. I used that to write out my circle.

I drew it, and when the energy around my circle felt wrong, then I erased it and started all over again. I drew and redrew the circle until I had the same feeling that I did whenever I dreamed of the past. When I had redrawn it countless times, I was finally able to find something that felt similar.

The reason why I had chosen my past as the dimension was because I had stopped having dreams about my past ever since that incident with Cory’s family. I began to miss my old connections. I just kind of missed them.

If I could see those familiar faces again with this trial, then I would be happy.

I tried to see that particular dimension’s situation using the current time, but tampered with the circle to see the past instead. I tried to write it in the times when I knew when and where I was. I didn’t want to see what had happened when I died, so I just turned the time back to before I died.

I breathed in and out as I completed the circle, then placed the circle near my wrist.

[Ye-an nuna!]Unniiiiiii!]

As soon as I activated the circle, images of the children in the other dimension began to flow into my head. Amongst the children was the familiar yet unfamiliar face of my past self.

These were the people that I had missed after not dreaming of them for a long time. I choked on my breath without realizing it.

With my mouth still agape, I thought deeply about what had happened. I forgot to even move my body. My body should’ve started aching, but I stayed still as I breathed in and out.

I barely blinked. The inner corners of my eyes felt heavy, but tears refused to fall.

My eyes felt dry as I stared at nothing in the air. I wasn’t staring at anything in particular. All I could see was a dried-up plant.

The scene that I had seen last time just kept repeating in my head, again and again.

I went back to that scene, time and time again. I became entranced in the memories of my past.

After I had attempted to use black magic that one time, I couldn’t seem to escape the memories of my past.

Those who I missed, and had missed so dearly.

The memories of my past life weren’t things that I wanted to keep thinking about. They weren’t happy memories. Instead, they were the complete opposite.

I couldn’t even figure out my own future, but I had taken on the responsibility of taking care of my younger siblings’ future. I had gone through struggle after struggle.

I had washed dishes until my hands cracked, and I had forced my lips to smile on cold winter days as I greeted customers. At the same time, I had bit at my lips alone in the face of looming, increasing debt and hope that I couldn’t even begin to see.

The reason that I had chosen to struggle like that had been for my little siblings, and, on the other hand, the only reason I was able to live on and face each day was because of my little siblings.

Living was torture. I spent nights wide awake, scared of what the next day would bring. I had wanted to give up, live for myself, and do whatever I wanted for myself.

Whenever I walked the streets, I would see kids my age look free and happy. I felt like I was the only one wallowing in misery. I knew, I knew that I wasn’t the only one suffering, but it still hurt.

But those were all fleeting thoughts. I could never abandon my family.

Being family aside, all of them were just so lovable. There were times when I hated them, but they were always so lovable.

I used black magic to look back at my memories from that life again and again.

My youngest sibling picking out vegetables, then putting those vegetables in my mouth when they were caught. I always did stretching exercises with my youngest sibling, Semi, as we followed the teddy bears on our old television to grow taller.

My third youngest sibling, Yehwan, who tried to cook for me as they argued that they were grown, but failed. Oh, in the end, after multiple burned attempts, they had succeeded in cooking a delicious omurice. But they had been a bit too happy and had tripped on their feet as they tried to hand it to me.

And Seyoo. Seyoo had always been aggressive and liked to fight. People had always thought of him as a problem child because of it. But underneath it all, he was a jokester who was bright, smart, and sincere.

But he had gone a bit astray after our parents had died. No, to be exact, it had been since I had quit school and had begun working from midnight to late at night. He’d started fighting and always came home late. He’d gotten a lot colder.

The reason why I kept thinking of Hylli as a younger brother was because of Seyoo. Hylli had black hair, just like him, so it was easier for me to put the two together.

Of course, they didn’t look the same. Hylli, who was one of the main characters in the novel, was definitely a lot more handsome. Seyoo was more aggressive than him, too. But Hylli’s lame, cute points reminded me a lot of Seyoo before he grew cold, so I always saw the two of them as one. Both of them were selfish when it came to themselves and always wanted to improve themselves. They were both modest about their abilities, too.

Because I was always near Hylli, who reminded me of him so much, I couldn’t seem to separate myself from the past.

Now that it was possible for me to look into my past with black magic, I clung to it even tighter.