*****
NOVELASIUS
- TL: the guild
- Discord: https://discord.gg/GBKEa55867
- Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/topasius
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*****
The Fall Harvest Festival (7)
“Defend yourself against the heinous act of bestiality with a goat.”
“…What the hell did you just say?”
Is this a joke or an actual case? How am I supposed to defend against this?
The atmosphere in the small auditorium became icy. Not only I, but Müller, the judge, and the other participants waiting for their turn were all wearing expressions of shock.
Bestiality with a goat… public indecency? Seriously, is this what we’re putting on trial?
But no one could object to it. These cases were brought in from real precedents that actual magistrates had dealt with.
“Before the trial begins, both sides are requested to familiarize themselves with the case. You have five minutes.”
At Professor Edgar’s prompting, I hurriedly reviewed the case file.
The incident took place in a remote village called Hamarakaru.
A shepherd named Tomubera was caught in the act of bestiality with a goat at night by the ranch owner, Aliha, who then reported him.
The passing magistrate, Samantha, took it upon herself to punish the crime severely, castrating Tomubera on the spot. It was an extreme punishment, but given the shocking nature of the crime, the only one who objected was the perpetrator himself.
- Oh.
- That’s a bit…
Reading through the case summary, most of the men in the room seemed to wince and instinctively protect themselves.
Yeah… female judges do tend to be stricter when it comes to sex crimes.
But when it comes to public indecency, if you add a special charge, it’s not an impossible punishment. In a time akin to the medieval period, punishments were much harsher and more extreme than in the modern day.
And I have to defend this and get it dismissed or acquitted.
‘Dismissal would earn the highest score, but it’s impossible. These are cases where the defendant was caught red-handed. And acquittal…’
Would that even be possible?
Getting an acquittal for bestiality? The public indecency charge alone is enough to nail him.
“Damn it…”
“Is it alright, boss?”
Ren, who I’d brought as my assistant, was shocked but still scrutinizing the case carefully.
“It’s over. There’s no winning this…”
“But it might not be the worst case. Someone else might have an even worse one…”
“Do you really think so? Name three things worse than this.”
“…”
Ren clammed up, unable to respond. She could only mutter something incomprehensible under her breath.
“The goat might have liked it.”
“What?”
“We can’t really know what animals think, can we? Maybe… it enjoyed it.”
“…”
Ren blushed, clearly embarrassed by her own words. But that was the spark.
“Wait a minute, let’s look at the materials again.”
I hurriedly scanned the documents.
A magistrate’s trial doesn’t drag on for long.
As long as the bare minimum legal requirements are met, it’s not like the district or supreme courts where you have to carefully examine precedents and detailed legal provisions.
A traveling magistrate doesn’t have the luxury of staying in one place for months; there simply isn’t enough time to investigate thoroughly.
As a result, the verdicts are often inconsistent. The information provided is minimal. So…
“Ren! Look up what I’m about to say on page 39 of the civil code!”
“Huh? Oh, okay.”
I quickly grabbed the thick law book provided as a reference.
This trial… might just be winnable?
…
…
…
“Let’s begin the trial. Judge Müller, please start.”
At Professor Edgar’s cue, Müller opened the thick law book and began.
“The defendant is charged under Section 255 of the Penal Code for public indecency, for disturbing public morals through an act of bestiality with a goat—”
“Objection!”
“Yes?”
Müller was taken aback by my immediate objection. He looked confused, unsure what I could possibly be objecting to at this point.
But this choice of words was crucial, and I couldn’t let it slide.
“Bestiality? It was intercourse!”
“…What the hell did you just say?”
“Objection! Judge Müller, please use appropriate language in this honorable court!”
“Müller. Please be more mindful of your terminology.”
“Ah, yes… I’m sorry.”
Müller shrank under Professor Edgar’s reprimand and hurriedly continued.
“Intercourse? Intercourse is defined as a consensual act between a man and a woman…”
“The goat in question, Miss Merilda, was indeed a female! It fits the definition of intercourse between a man and a woman!”
“When did the goat get a name— no, what the hell—! Ahem! That applies only to humans…”
“Does the law specifically state it must be human? I couldn’t find that anywhere. Please, enlighten us!”
“Well, of course—”
“Of course…? Judge Müller, please use precise language in this court!”
“Damn it…”
“I, Korin Lork, stand here and declare! Miss Merilda and I… were in love!”
“What?!”
────!!
– What?!
– Unbelievable!
– This guy’s insane…
– As if winning justifies this…
The shock and horror were palpable in the audience’s expressions. Love with an animal? It was an unthinkable and outrageous concept for the people of this era.
But I had no choice for the sake of the sentence. I had to win!
“You! You’re just spouting nonsense in this trial! Can you prove that?!”
Müller looked like he was about to explode, as if he’d just encountered a truly outrageous criminal. Yes, even in a mock trial, he must think I’ve crossed a line. But!
“I can prove it!”
“What?!
“Your Honor! I promise here and now!”
“What, what are you promising?”
“I will marry Miss Merilda! Please bless our love!”
– Oh…
– This is madness. Absolute madness…
– Lord, why must I hear such trials?
– This can’t be reality!
– I refuse to accept this!
The courtroom was descending into chaos. But I had to press the advantage.
“I’ll pay Mr. Aliha, her father, a dowry and officially propose! Please bless our union!”
“Damn it.”
“…”
Müller couldn’t hold back his curse, and Edgar rubbed his forehead as he began to make his ruling.
Yeah, how much could a goat possibly cost? As long as I pay more than that, the ranch owner will likely hand over the goat.
He might be horrified that the shepherd was a lunatic, but he has no reason to refuse the profit.
“Public indecency only applies to acts of obscenity without mutual consent! But if it’s a consensual relationship! And if she’s a fiancée with whom I’ve promised marriage, there’s no problem, right?!”
“Korin, you crazy bastard! Are you just spewing whatever nonsense you want because this is a mock trial?!”
“Your Honor! Please maintain decorum in this court!”
“Damn it, you creatively deranged bastard! Your very existence is a minus on decorum! I knew something was off the moment you called yourself Immotan Lork!”
Things were getting messier, but the verdict… turned out exactly as I wanted, no, even more perfectly.
Acquittal.
I had won.
“W-well… I guess… you’re the type who could… make that work.”
Ren seemed to have reached a profound misunderstanding.
In the next trial, with the roles reversed, I successfully got Müller convicted, achieving a flawless victory.
And then came the next trial—
“Defendant Korin Lork, defend yourself against the multiple charges of adultery brought against you.”
“Haha… Adultery? How bad could it be—three?! This bastard is insane!”
– Is Korin Lork really one to talk?
– Just how far did his tentacles reach?
– Who knows? We lost count after a hundred.
I lost.
Utterly defeated.
How did this happen?
“Korin Lork. You are awarded the Silver Ribbon for Outstanding Performance.”
“…”
Why… How did this happen?
This is a disaster. What I wanted was the Gold Ribbon. But here I am, with a Silver Ribbon?
I failed right at the end?
“Well, getting four Gold Ribbons is still pretty impressive, isn’t it? You’re only one short.”
“…”
Why… how did this…
Sigh… Let’s calm down. I’ve collected four Gold Ribbons and one Silver Ribbon.
Normally, this would be an extraordinary accomplishment.
The problem is, at the upcoming Lady of Autumn, I need to present five Gold Ribbons.
Marie Dunarev, Alicia Arden, Hua Ran, Estelle Hadatha El Rath, and Erin Danua…
I’ve received such undeserved love from all of them, and I wanted to gift them each a Gold Ribbon without showing favoritism.
That was the plan…
“Ren…”
“Yes?”
“If I had to give someone a Silver Ribbon… who do you think would take it best?”
“Hmm… Marie…”
「Korin! Thank you! Huh? I’m the only one with a Silver Ribbon? Oh… I see! No, no, it’s okay. Yeah… It’s fine.」
“She’d probably try to act okay, but she’d be the most hurt, right?”
“Damn it… What about Alicia…”
「Oh… I see. It’s alright. I can’t compare myself to the others. It’s okay.」
“Isn’t that how she’d react?”
“Ahhh…! She’d get all self-deprecating! I can’t do that!”
“Hua Ran?”
“Hua Ran is out of the question. Ran would cry, and Hua would beat me up.”
“…True.”
“Then, how about Estelle…”
「Hmmm~ Is that so? Alright. But, little brother, you owe me one.」
“Aren’t you afraid of what she might demand as payment?”
“…”
That only leaves Erin, right?
“Erin Danua might…”
“She’s probably the only one who would understand.”
She’s the only one I don’t have a romantic relationship with. Erin would understand my situation and forgive me.
「Haha, it’s alright. You’ve done really well to earn so many ribbons.」
Yes! Erin would definitely say that and pat my head!
“Huh? Korin, is that you?”
“Oh, Erin? What brings you here?”
Suddenly, Erin appeared beside me. She was wearing a stunning autumn dress, quite different from her usual work attire.
“Wow~ Your dress is beautiful.”
“Haha, I’m participating in the Lady of Autumn… I thought I’d dress up a bit. Am I being too bold at my age?”
“No way. You look amazing. You should dress like this more often.”
At my words, she smiled warmly, gently brushing her hair back.
“Look, I’m wearing the earrings you gave me. And the necklace and bracelet too! I’m wearing all of your gifts!”
Erin was adorned with the jewelry I’d given her. She looked even more beautiful, especially with this elegant outfit.
“Erin, about the Lady of Autumn…”
“Oh~ yes! I’m looking forward to it!”
“Huh?”
The cry that was about to escape my throat was swallowed back down.
“The Lady of Autumn… it’s a contest for beautiful young women, so I’m not expecting much for myself… but it’s okay. All I need is just one Gold Ribbon from my dear student.”
“…”
I couldn’t bring myself to ask. To ask if she would be okay with a Silver Ribbon… No, she would be. Erin didn’t say it with any special intention.
“Really… I’ve never felt like this before. I guess I’m being a bit silly. But I promise to show you the most beautiful version of me.”
“…”
With those words, Erin disappeared into the event hall.
“Shouldn’t you have said something then?”
“…”
“Boss?”
“Ah, the grace of a teacher is amazing!!!”
“Have you lost it?”
“Oh, the wonders of a teacher’s grace!!!”
I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t betray that smile and those expectations!
“Damn it… My plans always go like this!”
“…”
“Did you think I wouldn’t have a backup plan? Haha, hahaha…!”
In my second year of saving the world, I’ve learned that plans rarely go as expected.
Of course, I had a contingency plan!
“Are you Korin Lork, a second-year student in the Guardians Faculty?”
“That’s me!”
“We thought you weren’t going to participate, as you didn’t show up until the last minute.”
“Well, I was thinking of skipping it.”
“Oh… then, since you’re here now…”
– Congratulations on entering the cross-dressing contest?
A wise person always has a Plan B.
“Hahaha…! Wahahaha!!”
*****
NOVELASIUS
- TL: the guild
- Discord: https://discord.gg/GBKEa55867
- Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/topasius
*****
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